A Matter of Life and Death
by BeachCat
Summary: Edwin Jarvis does not recall waking up. One moment, he was in the lab with Mr. Stark and Ms. Carter and one of Howard's groundbreaking inventions. The next, nothing. No sight, no sound, and - he wasn't breathing. Oh dear... [Ghost in the Machine AU.] (Explanation inside.)


I do not own anything related to Marvel's Agent Carter. This idea had just been floating around my head for the past few days.

* * *

The first thing Edwin Jarvis noticed was that he did not recall waking up. Although, "waking up" was not quite correct because he had not gone to sleep. At least, not to his knowledge. He would have of course known when he retired for the night, in bed at nine o'clock after sherry and Benny Goodman just like every night - with the exception of when Agent Peggy Carter or his employer, Howard Stark, called on him. And so it was at once alarming that he had woken up with no warning at all.

After that initial realization, it became promptly apparent that he had not yet opened his eyes, nor could he. In fact, Mr. Jarvis could not quite locate where his eyes should be, which was naturally far more concerning than not remembering falling asleep. One may lapse in memory of when one went to sleep and it would be understandable carelessness, but to misplace one's eyes was a far more unbelievable and possibly severe slip up.

He then panicked, or rather he had sincerely meant to. He had every intention of stumbling out of bed or wherever it was he had nodded off, reaching through the dark and calling someone for help. It would have been far more productive than sitting around, contemplating his missing eyesight. Instead, he found he could not move at all and quickly realized that he had not been breathing for quite some time.

Oh dear…

He sat a moment in the silence and there was nothing. No feeling or sound or light. Just him in what seemed to be darkness.

Was this it then? Had Edwin finally kicked the bucket, as they say? He had hoped for something… A bit more dramatic to be honest. Some fanfare perhaps? Or a great ascending staircase like in the film he and his wife had recently seen at the cinema. Certainly something more interesting than this nothingness. It left him wanting for technicolor.

"Jarvis!"

Oh! Mr. Stark? His employer's voice was distant and distorted but undeniably recognizable.

Yes, now that he thought on it, it made sense that it would be his employer. He faintly recalled being summoned to Howard Stark's lab. Some new project to - well he couldn't quite remember but he had been surprised it had been given his name. In that case, he had likely been blown up. Poor Mr. Stark would be mortified.

Good Lord! What would he tell his wife? She never spoke much about Edwin's employer but she had never quite stated her approval of his extravagant lifestyle. Hearing her husband had been blown up by Mr. Stark would be less than ideal. Not to mention, Edwin had secretly hoped that if it were to happen his departure would be more on the dramatic noir side like something from a Humphrey Bogart film. He had not wanted to die a tragic but predictably accidental death.

"Jarvis?"

There he was again. Closer this time though equally distorted as if coming from a radio. But it wasn't really sound either…

"Howard. What happened to Mr. Jarvis?"

Ms. Carter was there too?

Oh yes, Mr. Stark had invited her to see his new machine, a system that was capable of storing all kinds of vital intelligence. It would be a game changing system and benefit the growing agency, S.H.I.E.L.D. It would leave machines like the Colossus Mark I and II from the War in the digital dust. At least, that is what Mr. Stark had claimed and his claims where frequently decades ahead of the times.

Ms. Carter had been running late.

"Howard. What did that damn contraption do?"

Oh dear. She sounded quite distressed.

Edwin paused.

If he had passed on, why was it that he could still hear Ms. Carter and Mr. Stark? Perhaps he was a ghost. While he was never a superstitious man, there had been multiple times in his misadventures with Agent Carter and Howard Stark that he had jokingly vowed to haunt them were he killed in action. All in good fun in the rush, but his dry humor was never meant to be carried out.

"It's not built for this! There must have been a power surge. I've tested it for every foreseeable problem. There were safeguards in place! I've tested it myself. It should only have limited access! This was not how I built it!" Mr. Stark slammed his fist on something.

Something in Jarvis shuttered as if some part of him was abruptly knocked into proper place. Odd.

"I'm not feeling a pulse. Howard, I need you to call for an ambulance or bring one of your cars around yourself."

"I can fix this. I must have missed something. The system is only supposed to take in small bursts of information, not… Granted, it is certainly capable of it. I wanted to push its boundaries. Why the hell did I want to push its -"

A slap echoed in what sounded like a vast space.

"Howard. Mr. Jarvis needs you here now." Ms. Carter stated softly. "Help me get him out of this thing. Where do you keep your car keys?"

"Jarvis drove here," he answered.

No, Howard wouldn't know where the keys were.

"For Pete's sake!" Sharp footsteps rapidly faded away only to return moments later. "Paramedics are on there way. Help me lift him."

"They won't get here in time. I'll look for the keys."

Wait a moment. If Edwin was a ghost and he could hear them, surely there could be some method of communication with them. As if on cue, a kind of mental window snapped open and something whirred to life. The keys were in the —

[_Foyer._] The sound of his voice echoed, eerily distorted like any proper ghost.

"… Holy Moses."

Footsteps grew closer, hesitant and then with sudden purpose. There was a click and Jarvis could see. Howard Stark filled the majority of his vision while Ms. Carter stood behind him, someone slung heavily over her shoulder. Still no technicolor.

"Jarvis?"

A pause, then his voice crackled to life again.

[_The keys are in the foyer. I left them on the hook by the coat rack. Though, might I suggest calling your private physician?_]

"Jarvis. Where are you right now?" Mr. Stark asked, holding out a hand to stop Ms. Carter from moving from where she stood.

[_I am not entirely certain, to be honest. It seems I've taken to haunting you. Completely unintentional. I must say though, you are standing rather close._]

"Howard, is that — Mr. Jarvis, are you alright?" Ms. Carter stepped closer, the man still hanging from her shoulder. He looked familiar.

[_I suppose as well as I can be at the moment._]

"Jarvis, I need you to tell me what you can remember." Howard leaned in so close he nearly filled Jarvis's field of vision.

What could he remember? Well, plenty of things.

[_Could you be more specific, sir?_]

Howard Stark paused. His face was blank, a poker face he only used when in deep thought.

"Jarvis. Access secure memory data bank."

[_Mr. Stark, I am not sure what it is you are — Access to secure data banks requires a password._]

That was not at all what he meant to say. It felt foreign and overwhelmingly correct.

Howard Stark's head bowed.

"Damn it."

[_Password Incorrect. Access Denied._]

Howard looked up again. "Jarvis. Access secure memory data bank. Password: Maria"

[_User Recognized: Howard Stark. Password Correct. Accessed Granted. — Mr. Stark, this feels strange. What was that? Last I checked, ghosts do not —_]

"Do you remember what happened after we arrived here?" Howard interrupted again. He did not see Ms. Carter coming closer.

[_You wished to unveil your latest project to Ms. Carter for the benefit of S.H.I.E.L.D._]

The machine had been huge, something Mr. Stark had put together underneath one of his West Coast vacation homes. He had been very secretive about the project, not unlike when he was working on one of his possibly more dangerous inventions. He did not go into the details of how it worked, but it was going to change their lives. He claimed to have thoroughly tested it and it was capable of copying and taking in huge amounts of data, even from the human mind. That in particular could be extremely beneficial if used correctly - and extremely dangerous if used incorrectly. He had asked Jarvis to demonstrate for Ms. Carter. It was completely safe. He needed only think of one particular image and the image would be stored in the system. Just a rather very intelligent system. He thought of the first, most wonderful image that had come to him.

And then —

[_Mr. Stark. What happened while I was attached to the system?_]

Mr. Stark leaned away, running a hand through his usually slick hair. He looked suddenly exhausted. Very rarely did Edwin's employer show true remorse, and even more rarely, remorse without some playful, self-deprecating comment. Now, he offered no joke, no comment to remotely brighten the mood. He ran a hand down his face and let it drop to his hip, a tell-tale sign he was planning on having a drink shortly. Possibly one too many drinks.

Ms. Carter came closer, still holding the eerily familiar man. She approached slowly, timidly. There was no inherent confidence in her step. She did not look like the woman Mr. Jarvis knew she was. She did not look like the woman who was capable of balancing the world on her shoulders. She looked like a part of the world had suddenly come crashing down around her.

Everything was wrong.

[_I am not a ghost, am I?_]

"That depends on your definition."

"Howard! This isn't some joke. Mr. Jarvis is —"

"I know."

[_Ms. Carter… Is that my body there?_]

Ms. Carter shifted the body upward into what looked like a more comfortable position. The man was in a right state, hair mussed and suit crumpled against Ms. Carter's smaller frame. She bit her lip.

[_Am I dead?_]

He dare not inquire as to the permanence of his condition.

"The paramedics are coming. People have come back from worse." Ms. Carter assured him.

She was grasping for straws. Back when Mr. Stark was a fugitive from the SSR, they had been in their fair share of tight spots together. This had to be difficult for her. Ms. Carter had a tendency to take on more responsibility than she necessary. It was one of her more frustratingly endearing traits.

Suddenly, Mr. Stark stalked to the fore of Jarvis's vision again, brows furrowed. Jarvis could practically hear the gears of a new theory turning.

"What is your name?"

[_Edwin Jarvis. Mr. Stark, why are —_]

"What is your occupation?"

[_I am under your service as a personal butler and caretaker of many of your personal properties. You know this already —_]

"What is your designation?"

[_Designation: J.A.R.V.I.S. Just a Rather Very Intelligent System for the use by the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division — Mr. Stark… Why did I say that?_]

Howard sat heavily in a nearby chair. "The machine was never built to take in - take in a whole person. But it was built to adapt to new information."

"What does that mean for Mr. Jarvis? Howard? What does that mean for him?" Ms. Carter demanded.

"Jarvis, what was the image you thought of before this?"

[_You are avoiding Ms. Carter's questions._]

And Mr. Jarvis was avoiding his. He had already noticed —

"Who did you imagine, Jarvis?"

[_Anna. Anna's face._]

"And now?"

No. This was not right. It was nowhere near right.

[_I - I can't. Why can't I remember? Mr. Stark?_]

"My God…" Ms. Carter whispered.

Howard Stark ran a hand over his hair again and swallowed.

"The system was never built to take in a whole person."

[_… I'm incomplete._]

"Yes - well - no. The program is filling in the gaps."

[_Can I be fixed?_]

Mr. Stark was silent for a moment, then

"I don't know."

"Howard! What the bloody-"

"I don't know," Howard rose from his seat, "I don't know but I will sure as Hell do my best to make this right."

A dull pounding came from the entrance door above.

"The paramedics are here." Ms. Carter tightened her grip on Jarvis's torso, "Howard, help me upstairs."

[_Wait._]

The two stopped. The dull pounding continued distantly.

[_If I - If this is permanent… My wife. She can never know._]

"Mr. Jarvis. You aren't gone." Ms. Carter frowned uncertainly, "I'm sure there is a way to let her know you are still here. You don't have to be alone in this."

[_And then what, Ms. Carter? Forgive me, but how does one explain this to her? Knowing Anna, she will wonder why I cannot come home. And if she were to find me? Ms. Carter… how can I face her when I cannot remember what she looks like?_]

"Surely she deserves to know the truth." Ms. Carter countered gently.

[_Of that I have no doubt; however, she deserves the chance to move on more. I - I cannot fulfill my duties as a husband. Unless by some miracle, I can be restored to myself, for all accounts, I will have died today._]

Neither Ms. Carter or Mr. Stark responded. They looked as lost as Jarvis felt.

The distant pounding became more urgent.

[_Can you send a message to my wife, Ms. Carter? I mean no offense Mr. Stark, but it would likely be better off if Ms. Carter were to send the message._]

"Yes." Ms. Carter drew closer as Howard took Jarvis's body from her. "What would you like sent?"

[_Would you tell her I loved her? I am certain she knows but, well, I won't be around to remind her._]

Ms. Carter pursed her lips and nodded, "Of course."

[_And when you tell her I've passed away, could you romanticize it slightly? She has always rather enjoyed romantic tragedies. Something exciting but not too painful._]

Ms. Carter laughed a little, "Of course. Nothing less than cinematic."

There was a crash upstairs.

"They certainly are persistent." Howard muttered.

[_Mr. Stark… She will be looked after?_]

Ms. Carter took Jarvis's body from Howard, "Look after him. I can handle this."

When Ms. Carter rounded the hall to the elevator, Howard Stark returned to the seat in front of Jarvis.

"Anna will never want for anything."

[_Thank you, Mr. Stark._]

"Don't thank me. I swear I will make this right." Howard sighed heavily, then he poked a warning finger at the camera lens, "So don't be getting any ideas. We are not remotely done and you can't retire. We're in this espionage business for the long run, you understand?"

[_Of course not, sir. And here I thought I could finally take a sick day._]

Mr. Jarvis's employer laughed softly, as if everything could be right again. And for a moment, it felt like it could.

Edwin Jarvis was pronounced dead before he reached the hospital.

Anna was heartbroken, but received his last message thanks to Ms. Carter.

His funeral had been a small affair, but one Mr. Stark had ensured was classy. He had managed to get Benny Goodman to play for it. Mr. Jarvis wished he could have attended, despite his circumstances.

Ms. Carter often visited. They still worked together expanding S.H.I.E.L.D. and completing various missions. Jarvis's improving memory proved quite helpful. It was like the good old days, but with less chauffeuring.

Howard still treated him the same for the most part, although he made an extra effort to give his former butler more mobility of sorts. He converted part of the space into his personal lab and spent hours with Jarvis there. Some days were more sober than others.

One day, years later, a young boy wandered into his father's lab. Young Anthony and Jarvis hit it off rather well. Of course, the boy couldn't know who he had been. Howard could not risk anyone else knowing. He had grown more suspicious over the years.

Then Howard and Maria died. His tie with S.H.I.E.L.D. died with them.

Edwin Jarvis stopped thinking of himself as Edwin Jarvis.

It wasn't long before he introduced himself as J.A.R.V.I.S. and believed it. It wasn't bad. He had a new purpose as J.A.R.V.I.S. Someone had to look after Howard Stark's son. The boy was more like his father then he cared to admit.

At that point, after everything, it felt right. It wasn't. Not really.

But Anthony - Tony - helped him finally see in technicolor again. That was good enough.

* * *

The Ghost in the Machine AU is the idea that Edwin Jarvis's mind was used to create J.A.R.V.I.S. in one way or another. This is version one, in which it is Howard Stark's miscalculation that lead to the transfer. Version two? You'll see.

Inspired by ABC's Agent Carter and Marvel's The Winter Soldier computer Zola scene.

Also inspired by "A Matter of Life and Death" (1946) which is a fantastic film and likely inspired the way in which the end of Captain America (beginning of Agent Carter) was filmed. Watch them side by side. It's eerie how similar the scenes are.


End file.
